:: Family Strategies for Managing Deployments ::

Military deployments.

The words elicit patriotism, excitement, and an eagerness to utilize months and sometimes years of training. However, it also induces fear, anxiety, apprehension and worry. No one in the military community is immune to these feelings ... service members, children, spouses, parents, significant others, and friends are all impacted.

It is just as imperative that family members are prepared for deployment as the person deploying. If the family is adjusting well and is safe at home, the service member is much better able to complete their mission and it also makes the readjustment when returning home much smoother.

Last June, I left my 8-month pregnant wife and 13-month old son for a 6-month deployment to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, as the JTF detainee psychologist; truly an opportunity of a lifetime. Ten days after I arrived in Cuba, my wife prematurely gave birth to our second child. I was unable to return home due to the operational commitments, but my wife and I were able to emotionally manage through our premature infant's condition and other challenges with the help of family and friends and also because we had emotionally prepared for my deployment.

In addition to logistical preparations such as assigning power of attorney, organizing financial obligations, attaining orders, and acquiring uniforms and equipment, emotionally preparing the family for deployment is vital whether the mission is a peace keeping one or combat related.

Emotional deployment preparedness means acquiring the attitude and skill-set to successfully endure and manage separation from your loved one.

First step: Settle some of the family's jitters. Active duty members should begin by reminding their spouses and children that the mission is accomplished through the sacrifices of the entire family and not just the Mom or Dad who is deploying.

If operational security permits, the service member should educate the family about the mission or at least the history of the assigned duty station, whether it is Afghanistan, Iraq, Cuba, or the Indian Ocean.

It should be cultivated into an exciting, learning, and patriotic event. This would be a great time to break out the maps and history text books. Discuss with the family that communication may not always be possible, and prolonged communication lapses does not necessarily imply bad news or abandonment. Additionally, the family should update family pictures to send along with the deploying person as well as other mementos. Have children draw a special picture and secretly place it in the sea bag is a great idea! The deploying parent should record themselves reading a favorite children's book and spouses should exchange a love letter before leaving to add an element of romance to their separation.

What happens after they are gone? It's essential the family and deployed person manage stress. Alleviating worry for the deployed loved one is not the only reason to manage stress at home. Those left behind must continue to function at home, work, and school.

Stress manifests itself in many forms, such as irritability, anger, sad mood, bad dreams, headaches, and stomach aches. Many people can mange stress effectively without seeking professional help and there are behaviors that you can do on your own to successfully manage stress.

It is important to focus on daily routines and habits. It keeps you distracted, speeds up time, and engaged in life. Eating a well-balanced diet and getting enough sleep help to control mood swings. Exercising 3-to-5 times per week will provide an attitude adjustment and positive feelings about you looking and feeling good. Listen to music that you enjoy. It gives you energy and a relaxation. Practice deep-breathing exercises, yoga, or mediation.

Don't become preoccupied with news associated with your loved one's deployment.

Partake in family rituals which provide strength and security for the children which assist in passing time. Make sure you spend quality time with family and friends. Their presence helps fill the void. Participate and find support at your church, mosque, or synagogue. Avoid drugs and alcohol, nicotine, and high doses of caffeine.

Finally, have fun. It's OK to travel and experience life while your significant other, parent or child is deployed. After all, they are away protecting your freedom.

There are great resources available to assist in preparing for deployment such as the Navy's Lifelines website at www.lifelines.navy.mil. It is a one-stop portal for military and family life in the Navy and Marine Corps. You can also contact your local Fleet and Family Service Center and Chaplain's offices for various programs specifically geared toward preparing and enduring deployments.

Sometimes all of us need a little extra help in managing stress. We have other things in life that worsen an already difficult and challenging period that warrant help from a professional.

If your own attempts at managing stress have not been working and you begin to experience recurrent panic attacks, nightmares, significant depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, weight loss, significant headaches, muscle aches or stomach aches, talk to your primary care manager for a referral to the Mental Health Department at Naval Hospital Pensacola.

(Lt. D'Arienzo is a Clinical Psychologist at the Naval Air Technical Training Center Pensacola branch health clinic. He can be reached at 452-8970, ext 138. 'Military Medicine Cabinet' is a health-related column periodically distributed by the NH Pensacola public affairs office.)

 

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