21 Best Deployment Tips ::
Deployments are never
easy. No matter how many you go through, you might get use to them but
they are still always hard. Below are 21 Best Tips for dealing with a
Spouse's Deployment. These tips below are tips by Military Wives who
are giving their best advice on how they cope with their Husbands'
deployment. Here they shoulder the enormous responsibility and
inevitable sacrifices that come with being a Military Wife.
1. Hang tough.
"I'm stronger now when he's gone, and I don't focus as much on being
left here, though I do have bouts of loneliness and frustration. I try
to keep myself busy. Writing him e-mails helps." -- Miranda
2. Keep Busy.
"The very first night he's hone, I'm out of my mind with sadness. I
just cry all night and hug something that smells like him. After the
first week or so, I start getting busy with my own thing. A typical
day with my husband gone: Go to work, go to school, go to the gym and
work on my Website until bedtime. I also set goals for finishing
things, saving money and getting in shape." -- Alyssa
3. Call on your
friends. "At first it's a little taste of freedom since we don't
have any kids. It was nice having the house all to myself without
having him flip through the channels on the TV or other silly stuff.
But by that first night I was very lonely. I had some really terrific
friends and they were always there for the rough patches." -- Mara
4. Remember your
promise. " The most common emotion is one of being overwhelmed.
With the kids and the house and no help and no relief in sight, its
often really hard to keep from being completely overwhelmed. But I'm a
military wife. I knew the job description when I married him, so I
feel like I don't have any right to complain." -- Chelsea
5. Throw a pity
part. "I always experience loneliness. I deal with my feelings by
giving myself permission to be ' depressed '. I take off from work the
first day he is gone. I stay in my pajamas all day, eat microwavable
food or order in, watch daytime TV and stay up as later as I want. The
next morning I get up and get back to my normal routine." -- Alison
6. Be prepared.
" Get as much stuff taken care of ahead of time, so you are as
prepared as you can be. Learn to ask for help (I really have trouble
with this one). Line up some visits to family and friends to help pass
time and give you something to look forward to"
7. Face your
feelings. " Take thing one day at a time. And let all your
emotions run their course. You are going to have good days, and you
are going to have horrible days. When you feel like crying, cry. When
you feel like you are on top of the world, you are. When the going
gets tough, look for something humorous about what is making life hard
at the time. Laughter is a wonderful medicine." -- Katie
8. Be realistic.
"Don't set impossible goals. Remember that nothing is set in
stone. Six months can turn to seven, and he misses you as much as you
miss him." -- Terri
9. Accept a
helping hand. " I learned to accept and, yes, sometimes even as
for help from others. Find a support group (such as USMC GALS), be it
online (my option) or a family support group (if one is nearby)." --
10. Do not drown
your sorrows. " I would go out with friends (fellow deployment
widows) on Friday nights and have a few beers, and then on Sundays I'd
try to figure out why I couldn't stop crying! I them remembered that
alcohol is a depressant, and it wasn't conductive to me being ' happy
girl '. So, I became more careful about the amount of alcohol I
consumed." -- Carly
11. Stay healthy.
" Eat right. Its tempting, while your husband is gone, to snack
and not eat well, but you need the best nutrition to help keep your
mental state on an even keel"
12. Trust each
other. "My husband and I have not always had the perfect marriage,
and we've had some serious trust issues in the past. The trust issue
presents a huge problem with deployments, and is one of the big
sources of pre-deployment arguments. But I just try to keep my husband
informed at all times, and he tries to express his fears reasonably
instead of with snide remarks. As a result, we often have excellent
communication during deployments and always make it through okay." --
13. Find yourself.
"You have to have a life aside from your husband. You just have
to, whether it's kids, a job, friends or a hobby. I have actually
known a few women who relied on their husbands completely for their
happiness. That won't work. You have to have something to do,
something you care about, and try to stay busy!" -- Kathryn
14. Keep your
routine. "I have learned not to get upset over the pending
deployments. There is really nothing I can do to stop them. I try to
keep home life as normal as I can for my children." -- Carmen
15. Stay strong.
"I'm a pretty independent woman, so that's what has helped me-- I
believe -- get through deployments. I still send my man off with lots
of love and smiles and reassurances that I can handle the affairs at
home, so he need not worry about us."
16. Keep your
husband posted. "I write letters to my husband every day (we don't
have access to phones or e-mail this time) detailing what our daughter
did that day, so he will feel like he's part of her day-to-day life. I
take lots of photos of our daughter to send to him. It's difficult
because at times it feels like our lives are ' on hold ' until he
17. Become a
boardie. " I keep in contact with other women through message
boards, and that helps me remember I'm not doing this alone." --
18. Work out.
"It goes faster when I'm thinking, " I only have three more months to
get a body like Britney Spears (ha, ha)!" -- Becky
19. Stay active.
"I have found it vital to have at least one regularly scheduled
activity while my husband is gone. It becomes something to look
forward to each week, which gives me little milestones along the way."
20. Be proud.
"I remember that he is gone not because he wants to be away from me,
but because he is a terrific person and is dedicating his live to
serving his country."
21. Focus on other
things. "Keep your chin up. Find things to keep your mind off your
loneliness. But avoid sappy movies, unless you need a good cry." --